Question:
I have been married for 1 year. My wife and I have less than 10 times intercourse because each time she feels pain during penetration. What should I do?
Answer:
First intercourse can be daunting for most women when they are trying to relax their vaginal opening to allow penetration of the penis. In fear, the vaginal entrance muscles can go into spasms and it will make penetration and lovemaking activities uncomfortable to the women, especially if the vagina is less lubricated. You wife needs to learn to relax her vaginal muscles to facilitate your penis to penetrate. She can use artificial lubricant like the ESP Natural Gel until she is confident with penetrative sex. Relaxing the vagina like in the process of avoiding urine or passing bowel can be used as a tip for her to allow your penis to penetrate her. If the pain still persist, then she needs to see her Gynecologist to inspect her genital area in case she has some inflammation of her vagina.
Category Archives: Intimacy
Whenever I get my period, I seem to want sex more and I get aroused easily. This is extremely frustrating for me. Is this normal? What can I do to solve my predicament?
Question:
Whenever I get my period, I seem to want sex more and I get aroused easily. This is extremely frustrating for me. Is this normal? What can I do to solve my predicament?
Answer:
This is a common phenomenon for women and you are not alone. This happens because the libido hormone for women testosterone is at a higher peak than estrogen. Some women get off by letting their husband fondle their nipples and breasts. Some even go to the extent of allowing the husband to touch their labia and the clitoris. There are also cases of women having sex during period and to avoid menstrual flow these women stuffed tampon into the upper vagina. This is not advisable because the menstrual blood can flow backwards and cause endometriosis. You can make a choice. For Muslims they can still have non penetrative sex as this is permissible.
Whenever I get my period, I seem to want sex more and I get aroused easily. This is extremely frustrating for me. Is this normal? What can I do to solve my predicament?
Answer:
This is a common phenomenon for women and you are not alone. This happens because the libido hormone for women testosterone is at a higher peak than estrogen. Some women get off by letting their husband fondle their nipples and breasts. Some even go to the extent of allowing the husband to touch their labia and the clitoris. There are also cases of women having sex during period and to avoid menstrual flow these women stuffed tampon into the upper vagina. This is not advisable because the menstrual blood can flow backwards and cause endometriosis. You can make a choice. For Muslims they can still have non penetrative sex as this is permissible.
I’m not an anal sex fan, however, I was just wondering if it’s okay to actually have anal sex safely without the use of a condom. I mean, do feces get on the penis on insertion? If not, what about the other bacteria that are present in the anus — won’t they cause an infection?
Question:
I’m not an anal sex fan, however, I was just wondering if it’s okay to actually have anal sex safely without the use of a condom. I mean, do feces get on the penis on insertion? If not, what about the other bacteria that are present in the anus — won’t they cause an infection?
Asnwer:
You are on the right tract when you mentioned about the bacteria and the feces that might land on your penis. The bacteria might not do any harm to you but may cause harm to your partner if after pulling out your loaded penis from the anus you insert it straight into your partner’s vagina. If your partner has an infection already, not using the condom will endanger you if you have an abrasion on your penis. Feces and anal mucus also contains HIV/AID virus if one is inflicted with the infection. Wearing a condom is the least you can do to avoid infection from your partner or to avoid infecting your partner. Be wise – Use condoms whether you have straight sex or otherwise.
There are some black spots on my penis, will it affect anything?
Question:
There are some black spots on my penis, will it affect anything? Each time I have intercourse, I have quick ejaculation. I have done circumcision, it is due to this that it become more sensitive and trigger quick ejaculation?
Answer:
Any discoloration on the penis needs to be examined by the doctor if it has not been there before, so also the black spots. If the spot is a bump on the penile skin, it might be wart. Penile wart is contagious because it can spread to the female partner genital skin. Adult circumcision, expose the head of the penis that can be sensitive to touch. This can make the head of the penis sensitive during sex and fast to ejaculate. Maybe by applying local anesthetic gel or cream, the sensitive feeling can be overcome. If this is not helpful, then you probably need to be treated for rapid ejaculation. There is a medication that can delay ejaculatory response that can be prescribed to you for which you need to see a doctor.
There are some black spots on my penis, will it affect anything? Each time I have intercourse, I have quick ejaculation. I have done circumcision, it is due to this that it become more sensitive and trigger quick ejaculation?
Answer:
Any discoloration on the penis needs to be examined by the doctor if it has not been there before, so also the black spots. If the spot is a bump on the penile skin, it might be wart. Penile wart is contagious because it can spread to the female partner genital skin. Adult circumcision, expose the head of the penis that can be sensitive to touch. This can make the head of the penis sensitive during sex and fast to ejaculate. Maybe by applying local anesthetic gel or cream, the sensitive feeling can be overcome. If this is not helpful, then you probably need to be treated for rapid ejaculation. There is a medication that can delay ejaculatory response that can be prescribed to you for which you need to see a doctor.
When Sex Hurts
- How does lack of sexual arousal happen?
Lack of sexual arousal occurs when the mind is not ready, the sex hormones are down and the sex organs are not responding. - Is it possible to feel painful even if the man/woman is sexually aroused?
For the guys tight foreskin can cause pain during penetration and for the girls if they do not relax the pelvic floor muscle to allow the vagina to accommodate the penis, penile penetration can cause pain to the vaginal entrance. - Why does an intercourse feel painful when the person isn’t sexually aroused?
When the guy is not sexually aroused his erection is not firm enough and trying to do the penetration can be uncomfortable because the penis will bend, especially if the vaginal entrance is tight and not well lubricated which can make intercourse painful for the woman as well. - How common is it among men and women? Should they tell their partners?
If sex is painful and uncomfortable for either party, this needs to be mentioned so that it can be remedied. - How can a woman overcome this problem? Any self-help solutions?
If attempt at intercourse is painful to the woman she must remember to relax her pelvic floor muscle and if there is problem of lubrication she might need to use lubricating gel until she is confident after which she can cease using the gel. - What if these tips don’t help? What can they do?
If this simple tip does not help they might need counselling. Maybe they need to see their GP or a sex therapist - How can a GP help?
The GP will help them to understand their genital anatomy and in the case of the female partner teach her to know her pelvic floor muscles so that she can train to relax that muscle to facilitate penis penetration and accommodation. The GP can prescribe medication to reduce anxiety if that is necessary. - Will a sex therapist help? How?
The sex therapist can provide the same counselling except that they cannot prescribe medicines.
How to bend my penis to upward not downward?
Question:
Dr, can you give me an advice for me to bend my penis to upward not downward? Because my penis cannot straight upward and short. Please help me doctor.
Answer:
The human penis in a non erect state appears small and tipped downwards. When fully erect it tipped upwards when the pelvic muscles are fully contract, or it bend downwards if the tip is heavier or the pelvic muscles are not firmly contracted. The purpose of the erection is for vaginal penetration and if the position of the erect penis does not interfere with this then there is no issue. If the penis size in the erected state is an issue, placing it upwards or downwards will not influence its size. Considering the shape and size of the penis is related to the owners genes and ethnicity then that dimension must be right for him and his female partner unless the penis is really small and in the case he might need to get his penis examined and get medical advice. Besides surgical procedure to enhance penis shape and size through Augmentation Phalloplasty that may need a plastic surgeon consultation, he might want to check on this penis extension device called the Andropenis. This device has been evaluated and found to be very penis friendly. You might want to try using this device before going for something serious. You can view information about the Andropenis device in the website www.andromedical.com
What could be causing this discomfort?
Question: When I have intercourse with my boyfriend and if I’m on top I get this intense feeling in what seems like my lower abdomen. Its not painful, its just a discomfort. I don’t react to it positively but I don’t actually experience pain. Then after intercourse the very slight discomfort continues for maybe a few hours. What could be causing this discomfort?
Answer:
The woman on-top position in lovemaking has always been a choice for many women to take a dominant role in sex. It is also a position for deeper penetration. From your description of that ‘intense feeling in the lower abdomen’ and that the feeling dragged on for some more hours, looks like you are not prepared of the deeper penetration that you may get from this position. You should be aware that in the “woman on-top position”, it is the woman, who controls the depth of penetration and not your partner, unless of course he pushes his long penis upwards as you sink your vagina downwards. If this happens you will surely feel the discomfort like your abdomen is being pounded, like a punch in your stomach as the tip of his penis hits the neck of your womb. That will surely stimulate your 10th cranial nerve called the Vagus Nerve and the dull discomfort that lingers is typical of that effect. Sometimes pushing the uterus upwards can cause this so called vagus response or vagus reflex. The simptoms may include a fainting feeling as well when the pulse rate and blood pressure reduce suddenly. However this vagus reflex is harmless but can be a deterrent though for future experimentations in woman on-top position. I would suggest you continue with the woman on- top position and this time you do a rocking or grinding movement so that you can get better stimulation of your clitoris and the perinum. You can also do the woman on top position with your back facing your partner to get better stimulation of the perineum. If you want a tighter fit, do keep your legs inside your partner’s thighs and you can rock back and forth to feel your partner’s penis being squeezed by your vagina for the most mind blowing orgasm and intimacy ever; not to mention the fun your partner will have viewing your front and rear in the best angle!
Answer:
The woman on-top position in lovemaking has always been a choice for many women to take a dominant role in sex. It is also a position for deeper penetration. From your description of that ‘intense feeling in the lower abdomen’ and that the feeling dragged on for some more hours, looks like you are not prepared of the deeper penetration that you may get from this position. You should be aware that in the “woman on-top position”, it is the woman, who controls the depth of penetration and not your partner, unless of course he pushes his long penis upwards as you sink your vagina downwards. If this happens you will surely feel the discomfort like your abdomen is being pounded, like a punch in your stomach as the tip of his penis hits the neck of your womb. That will surely stimulate your 10th cranial nerve called the Vagus Nerve and the dull discomfort that lingers is typical of that effect. Sometimes pushing the uterus upwards can cause this so called vagus response or vagus reflex. The simptoms may include a fainting feeling as well when the pulse rate and blood pressure reduce suddenly. However this vagus reflex is harmless but can be a deterrent though for future experimentations in woman on-top position. I would suggest you continue with the woman on- top position and this time you do a rocking or grinding movement so that you can get better stimulation of your clitoris and the perinum. You can also do the woman on top position with your back facing your partner to get better stimulation of the perineum. If you want a tighter fit, do keep your legs inside your partner’s thighs and you can rock back and forth to feel your partner’s penis being squeezed by your vagina for the most mind blowing orgasm and intimacy ever; not to mention the fun your partner will have viewing your front and rear in the best angle!
I have a big time queef or vaginal fart each time me and my hubby perform doggy style. How to curb this problem?
Question:I have a big time queef or vaginal fart each time me and my hubby perform doggy style. It amuses me a lot and Iʼm totally embarrassed because of this. How to curb this problem? Help!
Answer:
Queef or Flatus vaginalis is air coming from the vagina during or after sexual intercourse. In popular speech it is called a vaginal fart.
• Air is pumped into the vagina by the penis moving in and out. In some position this happens quite easily, like doggy position
• This air has to escape, making it sounds as if the girl is farting, but it comes from her vagina and is odourless.
• Of course this can be embarrassing, but it is no big deal when you are both able to laugh about it. Maybe you can make recording of it just in case it did not happen anymore!
There is no standard solution to avoid vaginal farting. But you could try the following:
1. If you do it ‘doggy style’ you can try to rise or lower your upper body, making the penis enter from a different angle.
2. Your partner can try short instead of long deep thrusts. When the penis stays in the vagina deeper, air might not be pumped in to begin with.
3. Change position.
4. Use a water-based lubricant when you start, applying it to your vagina opening and the are between your small lip, easy for the penis to slide into your vagina.
5. You can spread your legs more or keep them closer together. You can tighten your grip and during pelvic trust your partner keeps his penis inside till sex is over.
If you also pass flatus, the smell is of course revealing and don’t blame it to your vagina. Deep thrust can dispel gas accumulated in lower end of the colon and produce the flatus.
Any ways too speed up his libido and to make me feel the climax?
Question:
Hi there! I’ve been married to a wonderful guy in August 2008. I was a virgin until I got married. I do know lots of techniques, positions and tips although I’m not involved practically, thanks to the info on the net these days!
First month of our marriage was good, I took almost 10 days to get penetrated, it was very hurtful. After that, all had been smooth sailing till he left to his country. We were together for at least 20 days from the day we got married, minus the 10 days of inable to penetrate, 7 days of my period, so we had good sex for about 3 days till he went back. I was back alone in my country for 1month without him (visa waiting).Now I’m with him and it’s been a month now. First 2 weeks our sex was really good, and then I noticed he started to slow down or get excited quickly. We\’re not planning to have kid at the moment, and he loves the pull out method. Using condom is very disturbing for both of us and we decided to just go on without it but every time he gets climaxed, he pulled it out, that where I will be frustrated because I was almost cum. He even inserts 3 fingers n it was so smooth and I’ll ask him to go faster, but I can’t feel it coming. Am I being loose down there or? Even during sexual intercourse, its very hard for me too feels it nowadays. So I’ll ask him to do faster because it excites me but he will get tired easily. These days we had been just cuddling and kissing on the bed n he’ll go to sleep after that. Is this a normal situation for newly married? On the other hand, I will get upset so fast and emotional because didn’t get to do it. What is happening to us doctor? Any ways too speed up his libido and to make me feel the climax? I’ve spoken to him and he told me he’s too tired because of the office work. He wanted it but he tries to cut down quickly everytime he caresses my private parts.
Answer: So the honeymoon is over and back to day to day activities. When things get out of tune then you got to get it fixed, together as a team and not through tantrums. You mentioned that you were a virgin before marriage. It’s like getting a car and you have never driven it before, then you learn to drive against all the odds and get through. Now you are getting the hang of it and you like to drive as often as you can even with the slightest excuse. You are driving your mate like you are driving that car! Lovemaking is not just getting off. You might get off but he has to work hard and stressed up. When one is stressed one has no control on oneself. That’s what happens to your mate. He was doing fine before you are broken in. Now its look like you has broken him! The signs of stress are tiredness, unable to focus or to concentrate and more so in love making, erection is short lasting and ejaculation is too fast. Maybe you need to slow down, do more non penetrative sex than penetrative sex. Enjoy body mutual contact and massages. Enjoy caressing with mouth and tongue. You can encourage him to tongue your clitoris. The gentle and moist touch of the tongue will drive you to nerve shattering climax. You can let him finger your G-spot, the area at the roof of your vagina,3cm from your vaginal entrance, with deep stroke and if you started to feel the urge to pass urine, that might be the sign of impending climax and maybe female ejaculation, just do it. You will not pee, the flow from your vagina is your ejaculations. You will notice that he will be strong and hardy in the morning and his flagpole will remain steady fast. This will be your opportunity to ride him on and you will be able to experience a headsplitting climax. Look into the positive side of lovemaking. You have got a long way to go. Always bring back the car to fill the tank full and not to get it overheated!
Answer: So the honeymoon is over and back to day to day activities. When things get out of tune then you got to get it fixed, together as a team and not through tantrums. You mentioned that you were a virgin before marriage. It’s like getting a car and you have never driven it before, then you learn to drive against all the odds and get through. Now you are getting the hang of it and you like to drive as often as you can even with the slightest excuse. You are driving your mate like you are driving that car! Lovemaking is not just getting off. You might get off but he has to work hard and stressed up. When one is stressed one has no control on oneself. That’s what happens to your mate. He was doing fine before you are broken in. Now its look like you has broken him! The signs of stress are tiredness, unable to focus or to concentrate and more so in love making, erection is short lasting and ejaculation is too fast. Maybe you need to slow down, do more non penetrative sex than penetrative sex. Enjoy body mutual contact and massages. Enjoy caressing with mouth and tongue. You can encourage him to tongue your clitoris. The gentle and moist touch of the tongue will drive you to nerve shattering climax. You can let him finger your G-spot, the area at the roof of your vagina,3cm from your vaginal entrance, with deep stroke and if you started to feel the urge to pass urine, that might be the sign of impending climax and maybe female ejaculation, just do it. You will not pee, the flow from your vagina is your ejaculations. You will notice that he will be strong and hardy in the morning and his flagpole will remain steady fast. This will be your opportunity to ride him on and you will be able to experience a headsplitting climax. Look into the positive side of lovemaking. You have got a long way to go. Always bring back the car to fill the tank full and not to get it overheated!
Is it because my age or because I am still a virgin? if really no discharge, how to overcome it? Can it be cure?
Question:
I am 27, and I am still virgin. When i masturbate, I don’t really feel discharge (natural lubricant) coming out from vagina, and because of this, I don’t dare to have sex with my boy friend. Is it because my age or because I am still a virgin? if really no discharge, how to overcome it? Can it be cure?
Answer:
You will probably notice that there is lots of saliva when you talk and yet the saliva does not dribble out of our mouth! Similarly, the vagina canal. No doubt when you masturbate by touching or rubbing your external genital organ and climax you will probably notice only the small area between your small lips become moist. This is because of the secretions of the vestibular glands. If you were to introduce your finger inside your vagina you will feel the lubrication at the entrance which is the secretion from the Bartholin glands. If you probe further and stimulate the upper part of the vagina you might hit the G-Spot and if you climax you would feel the copious secretions from there. So start exploring yourself and experience all these.
I am 27, and I am still virgin. When i masturbate, I don’t really feel discharge (natural lubricant) coming out from vagina, and because of this, I don’t dare to have sex with my boy friend. Is it because my age or because I am still a virgin? if really no discharge, how to overcome it? Can it be cure?
Answer:
You will probably notice that there is lots of saliva when you talk and yet the saliva does not dribble out of our mouth! Similarly, the vagina canal. No doubt when you masturbate by touching or rubbing your external genital organ and climax you will probably notice only the small area between your small lips become moist. This is because of the secretions of the vestibular glands. If you were to introduce your finger inside your vagina you will feel the lubrication at the entrance which is the secretion from the Bartholin glands. If you probe further and stimulate the upper part of the vagina you might hit the G-Spot and if you climax you would feel the copious secretions from there. So start exploring yourself and experience all these.