Question:
I saw in an FAQ that many men were asking about how they could perform in the bedroom longer. Well my question is: Is there a way to get her to perform longer? We’ll both be engaging in sex for about 45 minutes, and a few minutes after making her orgasm twice, she’ll tell me that it is starting to hurt. Please let me know if there is something I can do. Thanks.
Answer: Not everybody can be a sexual athlete. If both partners can perform, then they are made for each other. If one partner can and the other cannot, the partner who must be able to accept the fact that his/her partner is not equipped with that special thing to make them perform as a sexual athlete. After all sex is not a performance, it is a special intimate act that runs smoothly, comfortably and without coercion and at the end both parties enjoy each other and cherished the moments rather than enduring the discomfort and displeasure. Nobody is keeping the score board or the time here. If you are doing just that then what you are doing is not lovemaking, just plain sex. Most women when they have climaxed will feel tired and their vaginal secretions will subside. They need another round of TLC before they are wet enough for another round of lovemaking. The third one will always be the most difficult, because they will be too tired and will not respond to TLC! If lovemaking were to be forced it will be like rape! The best thing you can do is to listen to her and maybe let her masturbate you if she is still awake or do again when she is fresh in the morning provided she is in the mood for it.

It has been suggested that regular work out gives strength and control of the mind over the body and if this is used to extend or prolong the time in intercourse, the same principal should work! However it is not as easy as it seems. If one is used to ejaculate fast through previous experience at masturbation, then the same thing would occur if not faster when one attempts sexual intercourse. But if one were to exert control and ensure that the sensation received during sexual intercourse does not reach the breaking point, that is the point of no return that would trigger ejaculation, then one would achieved ones desire in extending the time in intercourse. There are many approaches to exert control and maybe one of them might be just the trick for you. The following techniques will be beneficial in delaying ejaculation: The most common method men use is pulling out before they reach the orgasm. This method stipulates that men must anticipate the sensation of an impending orgasm. All men can anticipate when they reach orgasm, and at that point, they must stop the stimulation immediately. Obviously the women will need to be cooperative and understand when that point arrives. After a few minutes, the erection should soften a little and lovemaking can resume. This technique has obvious benefits. First, women will have plenty of time to reach their orgasm. Second, your orgasm will be delayed with a higher intensity than usual. Remember it is all about timing; just make sure to pull out when the time is right. The “stop and start” method – in this method, the man learns to recognize the stage after which he cannot control ejaculation. The treatment method trains the person to remove the stimulus just before that stage is reached so that the urge to ejaculate is controlled. For example, when during masturbation, the man reaches a point just before ejaculating; he stops the stimulus until he starts losing the erection. Once the stage is past, he can resume the activity. This process is repeated again and again until the individual is able to delay ejaculation till the time he wishes. The squeeze technique – in this method, the partner gently squeezes the tip or base of the penis just before the point of ejaculation thereby “cancelling” the orgasm. This process can be continued until the couple decides mutually to reach the climax. Desensitizing creams and gels are available in the market that reduce the sensitivity of the penis and help men reach climax later. Some men also feel that condoms reduce the sensations and in addition to providing safer sex, help them last longer. There are rubber penile constriction ring devices that can be placed at the base of the erect penis to give a firm grip and slight discomfort to the penis without injuring it. The dull unpleasant sensation will keep the mind off pleasant sensation that might trigger ejaculation and furthermore the constriction can keep the erection longer even if ejaculation has occurred. You can buy such devices in your friendly Pharmacy or local Medical Hall. You can also experiment with sexual positions as some positions offer more control than others and may help to delay ejaculation.