Dr.Care - ESPCare.com

Question:
I’m 23 and have just started being sexually active. My problem is my vagina feels pain and sore whenever my partner uses a condom. Without it, everything is fine. Both of us feel that using condoms is the best and safest way of contraception and we would like to stick to it. How do I remedy this problem?

Answer:
Some man and woman experience adverse effects with condoms. They are allergic to the additives that are present in the condom besides the proteins and the lubricants. With new generation condoms that are hypo allergenic this is no longer an issue and if some mild effects are present like mild pain and soreness, the reasons might be the dryness of the vagina and maybe the prolonged friction brought by the less sensitive penis(less sensitive because of the condom).In these cases a good water based lubricant would help. If this too does not help then you need to consider other method, like the pill for example or non penetrative sex for contraception

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question:
I am a woman who has absolutely wonderful orgasm all the time from manual or oral stimulation, but never from just intercourse. Is there something wrong with me?

Answer:
Most women can easily achieved orgasm with manual and oral stimulation because it is easy to stimulate these sensitive organs continuously with fingers and tongue that can be done for a long time since these organs do not need to be in an erected state as in the case of the penis. The penis cannot be in an erected state for long without stimulation and can make the man to climax which result in the loss of erection. Therefore the problem lies with the man and not the woman and the issue might be rapid ejaculation. I would strongly recommend the woman to be more focused when her partner penetrates her and start the penile thrust and position herself to get the sufficient stimulation to her most sensitive parts to achieve climax in a shorter time. She can work on this with her partner. If her partner is a rapid ejaculator then he has to go for therapy. There are techniques and medications available for this.

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question:
Hi there! I’ve been married to a wonderful guy in August 2008. I was a virgin until I got married. I do know lots of techniques, positions and tips although I’m not involved practically, thanks to the info on the net these days!
First month of our marriage was good, I took almost 10 days to get penetrated, it was very hurtful. After that, all had been smooth sailing till he left to his country. We were together for at least 20 days from the day we got married, minus the 10 days of inable to penetrate, 7 days of my period, so we had good sex for about 3 days till he went back. I was back alone in my country for 1month without him (visa waiting).Now I’m with him and it’s been a month now. First 2 weeks our sex was really good, and then I noticed he started to slow down or get excited quickly. We\’re not planning to have kid at the moment, and he loves the pull out method. Using condom is very disturbing for both of us and we decided to just go on without it but every time he gets climaxed, he pulled it out, that where I will be frustrated because I was almost cum. He even inserts 3 fingers n it was so smooth and I’ll ask him to go faster, but I can’t feel it coming. Am I being loose down there or? Even during sexual intercourse, its very hard for me too feels it nowadays. So I’ll ask him to do faster because it excites me but he will get tired easily. These days we had been just cuddling and kissing on the bed n he’ll go to sleep after that. Is this a normal situation for newly married? On the other hand, I will get upset so fast and emotional because didn’t get to do it. What is happening to us doctor? Any ways too speed up his libido and to make me feel the climax? I’ve spoken to him and he told me he’s too tired because of the office work. He wanted it but he tries to cut down quickly everytime he caresses my private parts.

Answer:
So the honeymoon is over and back to day to day activities. When things get out of tune then you got to get it fixed, together as a team and not through tantrums. You mentioned that you were a virgin before marriage. It’s like getting a car and you have never driven it before, then you learn to drive against all the odds and get through. Now you are getting the hang of it and you like to drive as often as you can even with the slightest excuse. You are driving your mate like you are driving that car! Lovemaking is not just getting off. You might get off but he has to work hard and stressed up. When one is stressed one has no control on oneself. That’s what happens to your mate. He was doing fine before you are broken in. Now its look like you has broken him! The signs of stress are tiredness, unable to focus or to concentrate and more so in love making, erection is short lasting and ejaculation is too fast. Maybe you need to slow down, do more non penetrative sex than penetrative sex. Enjoy body mutual contact and massages. Enjoy caressing with mouth and tongue. You can encourage him to tongue your clitoris. The gentle and moist touch of the tongue will drive you to nerve shattering climax. You can let him finger your G-spot, the area at the roof of your vagina,3cm from your vaginal entrance, with deep stroke and if you started to feel the urge to pass urine, that might be the sign of impending climax and maybe female ejaculation, just do it. You will not pee, the flow from your vagina is your ejaculations. You will notice that he will be strong and hardy in the morning and his flagpole will remain steady fast. This will be your opportunity to ride him on and you will be able to experience a headsplitting climax. Look into the positive side of lovemaking. You have got a long way to go. Always bring back the car to fill the tank full and not to get it overheated!

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question:
I was a virgin until my wedding day. The problem is on my first night with my husband, I did not bleed at all. Now my husband is having doubts about my virginity. Why did this happen and how can I convince my husband that I’m not lying to him?

Answer:
It is sad to know that at this modern time we still have men who are ignorant about the meaning of virginity. Virginity is a status and not a thing. That piece of thin flesh that covers the vaginal entrance, the so-called hymen may be present and may not be present naturally and even if it is present it can remain so even after sexual penetration if it is elastic and therefore is not a sign of virginity. A tear in the vaginal entrance or a tear of the hymen may be caused by a penetrating injury and not necessarily caused buy an erect penis if the woman claims so. Therefore the question of virginity does not arise if the woman insists she has not had penetrative sex with a man. The issue here is plain trust! Furthermore there is no reason for the woman to bleed if she relaxes her well lubricated vaginal entrance to accommodate the erect penis and more so if the penis is miniscule. Grow up man!

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question:
I am 27, and I am still virgin. When i masturbate, I don’t really feel discharge (natural lubricant) coming out from vagina, and because of this, I don’t dare to have sex with my boy friend. Is it because my age or because I am still a virgin? if really no discharge, how to overcome it? Can it be cure?

Answer:
You will probably notice that there is lots of saliva when you talk and yet the saliva does not dribble out of our mouth! Similarly, the vagina canal. No doubt when you masturbate by touching or rubbing your external genital organ and climax you will probably notice only the small area between your small lips become moist. This is because of the secretions of the vestibular glands. If you were to introduce your finger inside your vagina you will feel the lubrication at the entrance which is the secretion from the Bartholin glands. If you probe further and stimulate the upper part of the vagina you might hit the G-Spot and if you climax you would feel the copious secretions from there. So start exploring yourself and experience all these.

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question:
is there something wrong with me? Because every time I come home from work I run to my bedroom and jump on my husband to have sex with him.

Answer:
You have a normal sexual desire and you are expressing in the proper way, that is with the person you love and are committed to. Unlike some other who are extremely randy and horney and whose sexual desire is just to much to be handled by one person, the so called hypersex individual. This type of person, the layman term used is nymphomaniac, is never satisfied. The clinical conditions that include the concept of high levels of sexual desire and/or activity are hypersexuality and sexual addiction or compulsivity. The central features of these disorders are that sexual activity is an insatiable need, often interfering with other areas of everyday functioning; sex is impersonal, with no emotional intimacy; and despite frequent orgasms, sexual activity is generally not satisfying.

I am sure your husband is enjoying all the attention you are giving him and he will not be in any mood to stray!

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner