Dr.Care - ESPCare.com

Question:

 

I’ve heard about multiple orgasms in women. I’ve been sexually active for 5 years but I’ve yet to experience this. Can a woman really achieve this during one session of intercourse? What do I need to do to experience this?

 

Adventurous, Melaka

 

Answer:

 

I bet only sex machines can do that! Having one orgasm is so exhausting and having multiple climaxes can be next to seeing your Maker! After all that’s exactly what happens when you climax, you actually feel that you are in Nirvana! Definitely not to remain there!
Some women describe having multiple short climaxes and some mentioned about the powerful one that occurs once and you are totally zapped. Sex is to enjoy and not to endure and suffer. If you are able to enjoy lovemaking even without the climax and you are comfortable with it then let it be. There is nothing abnormal about that! If you can experience climax and enjoy it its good for you. If you by any chance experience something unusual which you believed is a series of short climaxes and you live to talk about it, this is something you can talk to your grandchildren about! Learn some good breathing techniques if you want to explore the realm of multiple climaxes, because controlled breathing can prolong your stamina and you can achieve your aim. Do read in the internet about this or talk to someone who has actually achieved this!

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimare Care Partner

 

1. How does lack of sexual arousal happen?
   Lack of sexual arousal occurs when the mind is not ready, the sex hormones are down and the sex organs are not responding.
2. Is it possible to feel painful even if the man/woman is sexually aroused?
   For the guys tight foreskin can cause pain during penetration and for the girls if they do not relax the pelvic floor muscle to allow the vagina to accommodate the penis, penile penetration can cause pain to the vaginal entrance.
3. Why does an intercourse feel painful when the person isn’t sexually aroused?
   When the guy is not sexually aroused his erection is not firm enough and trying to do the penetration can be uncomfortable because the penis will bend, especially if the vaginal entrance is tight and not well lubricated which can make intercourse painful for the woman as well.
4. How common is it among men and women? Should they tell their partners?
   If sex is painful and uncomfortable for either party, this needs to be mentioned so that it can be remedied.
5. How can a woman overcome this problem? Any self-help solutions?
   If attempt at intercourse is painful to the woman she must remember to relax her pelvic floor muscle and if there is problem of lubrication she might need to use lubricating gel until she is confident after which she can cease using the gel.
6. What if these tips don’t help? What can they do?
   If this simple tip does not help they might need counselling. Maybe they need to see their GP or a sex therapist
7. How can a GP help?
   The GP will help them to understand their genital anatomy and in the case of the female partner teach her to know her pelvic floor muscles so that she can train to relax that muscle to facilitate penis penetration and accommodation. The GP can prescribe medication to reduce anxiety if that is necessary.
8. Will a sex therapist help? How?
   The sex therapist can provide the same counselling except that they cannot prescribe medicines.

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

Question: When I have intercourse with my boyfriend and if I’m on top I get this intense feeling in what seems like my lower abdomen. Its not painful, its just a discomfort. I don’t react to it positively but I don’t actually experience pain. Then after intercourse the very slight discomfort continues for maybe a few hours. What could be causing this discomfort?

 

Answer:

The woman on-top position in lovemaking has always been a choice for many women to take a dominant role in sex. It is also a position for deeper penetration. From your description of that ‘intense feeling in the lower abdomen’ and that the feeling dragged on for some more hours, looks like you are not prepared of the deeper penetration that you may get from this position. You should be aware that in the “woman on-top position”, it is the woman, who controls the depth of penetration and not your partner, unless of course he pushes his long penis upwards as you sink your vagina downwards. If this happens you will surely feel the discomfort like your abdomen is  being pounded, like a punch in your stomach as the tip of his penis hits the neck of your womb. That will surely stimulate your 10th cranial nerve called the Vagus Nerve and the dull discomfort that lingers is typical of that effect. Sometimes pushing the uterus upwards can cause this so called vagus response or vagus reflex. The simptoms may include a fainting feeling as well when the pulse rate and blood pressure reduce suddenly. However this vagus reflex is harmless but can be a deterrent though for future experimentations in woman on-top position. I would suggest you continue with the woman on- top position and this time you do a rocking or grinding movement so that you can get better stimulation of your clitoris and the perinum. You can also do the woman on top position with your back facing your partner to get better stimulation of the perineum. If you want a tighter fit, do keep your legs inside your partner’s thighs and you can rock back and forth to feel your partner’s penis being squeezed by your vagina for the most mind blowing orgasm and intimacy ever; not to mention the fun your partner will have viewing your front and rear in the best angle!

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
Dr, can you give me an advice for me to bend my penis to upward not downward? Because my penis cannot straight upward and short. Please help me doctor.

 

Answer:
The human penis in a non erect state appears small and tipped downwards. When fully erect it tipped upwards when the pelvic muscles are fully contract, or it bend downwards if the tip is heavier or the pelvic muscles are not firmly contracted. The purpose of the erection is for vaginal penetration and if the position of the erect penis does not interfere with this then there is no issue. If the penis size in the erected state is an issue, placing it upwards or downwards will not influence its size. Considering the shape and size of the penis is related to the owners genes and ethnicity then that dimension must be right for him and his female partner unless the penis is really small and in the case he might need to get his penis examined and get medical advice. Besides surgical procedure to enhance penis shape and size through Augmentation Phalloplasty that may need a plastic surgeon consultation, he might want to check on this penis extension device called the Andropenis. This device has been evaluated and found to be very penis friendly. You might want to try using this device before going for something serious. You can view information about the Andropenis device in the website www.andromedical.com

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
It takes me forever to have an orgasm. My husband is so patient with me. He touches me in all the right places and it feels good. Is there anything we can do differently to speed up an orgasm?

 

Answer:
Recent studies on female orgasms reported women need to be mentally prepared and ready for a sexual encounter and cannot be rushed to sex. This means that what is happening to you might just be the issue of being rushed into lovemaking when you are actually not that ready. Maybe your husband needs to take it slow when come to arousing you. You need to lead him on and work your self into getting off at your own pace. This will also be rewarding to him since men feel great if they can make their partner climax. This is an ego thing for men.

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
I have a big time queef or vaginal fart each time me and my hubby perform doggy style. It amuses me a lot and Iʼm totally embarrassed because of this. How to curb this problem? Help!

 

Answer:
Queef or Flatus vaginalis is air coming from the vagina during or after sexual intercourse. In popular speech it is called a vaginal fart.

 

• Air is pumped into the vagina by the penis moving in and out. In some position this happens quite easily, like doggy position

• This air has to escape, making it sounds as if the girl is farting, but it comes from her vagina and is odourless.

• Of course this can be embarrassing, but it is no big deal when you are both able to laugh about it. Maybe you can make recording of it just in case it did not happen anymore!

 

 

 

 

There is no standard solution to avoid vaginal farting. But you could try the following:

 

1. If you do it ‘doggy style’ you can try to rise or lower your upper body, making the penis enter from a different angle.

2. Your partner can try short instead of long deep thrusts. When the penis stays in the vagina deeper, air might not be pumped in to begin with.

3. Change position.

4. Use a water-based lubricant when you start, applying it to your vagina opening and the are between your small lip, easy for the penis to slide into your vagina.

5. You can spread your legs more or keep them closer together. You can tighten your grip and during pelvic trust your partner keeps his penis inside till sex is over.

 

If you also pass flatus, the smell is of course revealing and don’t blame it to your vagina. Deep thrust can dispel gas accumulated in lower end of the colon and produce the flatus.

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner