Dr.Care - ESPCare.com

Question: When I have intercourse with my boyfriend and if I’m on top I get this intense feeling in what seems like my lower abdomen. Its not painful, its just a discomfort. I don’t react to it positively but I don’t actually experience pain. Then after intercourse the very slight discomfort continues for maybe a few hours. What could be causing this discomfort?

 

Answer:

The woman on-top position in lovemaking has always been a choice for many women to take a dominant role in sex. It is also a position for deeper penetration. From your description of that ‘intense feeling in the lower abdomen’ and that the feeling dragged on for some more hours, looks like you are not prepared of the deeper penetration that you may get from this position. You should be aware that in the “woman on-top position”, it is the woman, who controls the depth of penetration and not your partner, unless of course he pushes his long penis upwards as you sink your vagina downwards. If this happens you will surely feel the discomfort like your abdomen is  being pounded, like a punch in your stomach as the tip of his penis hits the neck of your womb. That will surely stimulate your 10th cranial nerve called the Vagus Nerve and the dull discomfort that lingers is typical of that effect. Sometimes pushing the uterus upwards can cause this so called vagus response or vagus reflex. The simptoms may include a fainting feeling as well when the pulse rate and blood pressure reduce suddenly. However this vagus reflex is harmless but can be a deterrent though for future experimentations in woman on-top position. I would suggest you continue with the woman on- top position and this time you do a rocking or grinding movement so that you can get better stimulation of your clitoris and the perinum. You can also do the woman on top position with your back facing your partner to get better stimulation of the perineum. If you want a tighter fit, do keep your legs inside your partner’s thighs and you can rock back and forth to feel your partner’s penis being squeezed by your vagina for the most mind blowing orgasm and intimacy ever; not to mention the fun your partner will have viewing your front and rear in the best angle!

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
Dr, can you give me an advice for me to bend my penis to upward not downward? Because my penis cannot straight upward and short. Please help me doctor.

 

Answer:
The human penis in a non erect state appears small and tipped downwards. When fully erect it tipped upwards when the pelvic muscles are fully contract, or it bend downwards if the tip is heavier or the pelvic muscles are not firmly contracted. The purpose of the erection is for vaginal penetration and if the position of the erect penis does not interfere with this then there is no issue. If the penis size in the erected state is an issue, placing it upwards or downwards will not influence its size. Considering the shape and size of the penis is related to the owners genes and ethnicity then that dimension must be right for him and his female partner unless the penis is really small and in the case he might need to get his penis examined and get medical advice. Besides surgical procedure to enhance penis shape and size through Augmentation Phalloplasty that may need a plastic surgeon consultation, he might want to check on this penis extension device called the Andropenis. This device has been evaluated and found to be very penis friendly. You might want to try using this device before going for something serious. You can view information about the Andropenis device in the website www.andromedical.com

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
It takes me forever to have an orgasm. My husband is so patient with me. He touches me in all the right places and it feels good. Is there anything we can do differently to speed up an orgasm?

 

Answer:
Recent studies on female orgasms reported women need to be mentally prepared and ready for a sexual encounter and cannot be rushed to sex. This means that what is happening to you might just be the issue of being rushed into lovemaking when you are actually not that ready. Maybe your husband needs to take it slow when come to arousing you. You need to lead him on and work your self into getting off at your own pace. This will also be rewarding to him since men feel great if they can make their partner climax. This is an ego thing for men.

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
I have a big time queef or vaginal fart each time me and my hubby perform doggy style. It amuses me a lot and Iʼm totally embarrassed because of this. How to curb this problem? Help!

 

Answer:
Queef or Flatus vaginalis is air coming from the vagina during or after sexual intercourse. In popular speech it is called a vaginal fart.

 

• Air is pumped into the vagina by the penis moving in and out. In some position this happens quite easily, like doggy position

• This air has to escape, making it sounds as if the girl is farting, but it comes from her vagina and is odourless.

• Of course this can be embarrassing, but it is no big deal when you are both able to laugh about it. Maybe you can make recording of it just in case it did not happen anymore!

 

 

 

 

There is no standard solution to avoid vaginal farting. But you could try the following:

 

1. If you do it ‘doggy style’ you can try to rise or lower your upper body, making the penis enter from a different angle.

2. Your partner can try short instead of long deep thrusts. When the penis stays in the vagina deeper, air might not be pumped in to begin with.

3. Change position.

4. Use a water-based lubricant when you start, applying it to your vagina opening and the are between your small lip, easy for the penis to slide into your vagina.

5. You can spread your legs more or keep them closer together. You can tighten your grip and during pelvic trust your partner keeps his penis inside till sex is over.

 

If you also pass flatus, the smell is of course revealing and don’t blame it to your vagina. Deep thrust can dispel gas accumulated in lower end of the colon and produce the flatus.

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
I’m 23 and have just started being sexually active. My problem is my vagina feels pain and sore whenever my partner uses a condom. Without it, everything is fine. Both of us feel that using condoms is the best and safest way of contraception and we would like to stick to it. How do I remedy this problem?

 

Answer:
Some man and woman experience adverse effects with condoms. They are allergic to the additives that are present in the condom besides the proteins and the lubricants. With new generation condoms that are hypo allergenic this is no longer an issue and if some mild effects are present like mild pain and soreness, the reasons might be the dryness of the vagina and maybe the prolonged friction brought by the less sensitive penis(less sensitive because of the condom).In these cases a good water based lubricant would help. If this too does not help then you need to consider other method, like the pill for example or non penetrative sex for contraception

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner

 

Question:
Hi there! I’ve been married to a wonderful guy in August 2008. I was a virgin until I got married. I do know lots of techniques, positions and tips although I’m not involved practically, thanks to the info on the net these days!
First month of our marriage was good, I took almost 10 days to get penetrated, it was very hurtful. After that, all had been smooth sailing till he left to his country. We were together for at least 20 days from the day we got married, minus the 10 days of inable to penetrate, 7 days of my period, so we had good sex for about 3 days till he went back. I was back alone in my country for 1month without him (visa waiting).Now I’m with him and it’s been a month now. First 2 weeks our sex was really good, and then I noticed he started to slow down or get excited quickly. We\’re not planning to have kid at the moment, and he loves the pull out method. Using condom is very disturbing for both of us and we decided to just go on without it but every time he gets climaxed, he pulled it out, that where I will be frustrated because I was almost cum. He even inserts 3 fingers n it was so smooth and I’ll ask him to go faster, but I can’t feel it coming. Am I being loose down there or? Even during sexual intercourse, its very hard for me too feels it nowadays. So I’ll ask him to do faster because it excites me but he will get tired easily. These days we had been just cuddling and kissing on the bed n he’ll go to sleep after that. Is this a normal situation for newly married? On the other hand, I will get upset so fast and emotional because didn’t get to do it. What is happening to us doctor? Any ways too speed up his libido and to make me feel the climax? I’ve spoken to him and he told me he’s too tired because of the office work. He wanted it but he tries to cut down quickly everytime he caresses my private parts.

 

Answer:
So the honeymoon is over and back to day to day activities. When things get out of tune then you got to get it fixed, together as a team and not through tantrums. You mentioned that you were a virgin before marriage. It’s like getting a car and you have never driven it before, then you learn to drive against all the odds and get through. Now you are getting the hang of it and you like to drive as often as you can even with the slightest excuse. You are driving your mate like you are driving that car! Lovemaking is not just getting off. You might get off but he has to work hard and stressed up. When one is stressed one has no control on oneself. That’s what happens to your mate. He was doing fine before you are broken in. Now its look like you has broken him! The signs of stress are tiredness, unable to focus or to concentrate and more so in love making, erection is short lasting and ejaculation is too fast. Maybe you need to slow down, do more non penetrative sex than penetrative sex. Enjoy body mutual contact and massages. Enjoy caressing with mouth and tongue. You can encourage him to tongue your clitoris. The gentle and moist touch of the tongue will drive you to nerve shattering climax. You can let him finger your G-spot, the area at the roof of your vagina,3cm from your vaginal entrance, with deep stroke and if you started to feel the urge to pass urine, that might be the sign of impending climax and maybe female ejaculation, just do it. You will not pee, the flow from your vagina is your ejaculations. You will notice that he will be strong and hardy in the morning and his flagpole will remain steady fast. This will be your opportunity to ride him on and you will be able to experience a headsplitting climax. Look into the positive side of lovemaking. You have got a long way to go. Always bring back the car to fill the tank full and not to get it overheated!

 

ESP - Enjoyable Safe Pleasure - Your Intimate Care Partner